Hello There!
Today is part two of a self help-y blog post. I know for me these types of posts are always helpful, so there must be someone out there that finds them just as helpful as I do! So I thought I would share some ways that help me get over the little and big bumps. Yes, some days it feels like nothing will make a situation better, but getting the bad, sad, mad bug out of your head will make the day about ten times easier. Here are my tips and tricks:
Breathe:
Breathe:
If something is bothering you, making you angry, or just plain frustrating, taking a deep breath and relaxing can make all the difference. Let the problems roll off your shoulders, and don't let them get you worked up. Sometimes this can seem ridiculously hard, almost impossible, but that is what makes breathing refreshing and relaxing. Even if you are having a conversation with someone and you find yourself getting worked up, taking a second to breathe. Breathing can let you reflect on the situation and compose yourself and your thoughts, and can help make problem solving easier, and a difficult person or situation easier to deal with. If you can't do any of the things I am about to list, try this. It can't hurt!
Scream and shout:
Don't let out your frustration in front of other people; in my "experience" you end up looking weak and wimpy, so just do this at home. But if you are communicating with someone via text message or email, and you find yourself slamming your fingers on the keyboard, let it out! Getting worked up is easy to do, so take a minute to calm down and reflect on why you are angry. I always have to give myself a good five minutes to be angry, and then I'm okay. Also, you don't have to always respond right away to a message, so take your time! There is no rush to reply to someone's text or email, especially if they are mean or rude, so let them sweat a little before you give them an answer.
Throw Things Around:
If you can't scream, throw things around. Just make sure they are pillows or stuffed animals, so there won't be any damage. I don't want to be held responsible! I know this may seem violent, but I know I have those days when every little things angers me throwing things around and shouting at the top of my lungs is helpful and exhilarating. Letting out the anger on an inanimate object makes sure you won't take out the anger on someone who does not deserve it.
Vent:
If you find shouting and throwing around to be too violent, then ask a friend or family member if you can vent to them. Even telling someone about your day and just having them listen without giving input can be like writing in a journal. I would recommend writing in a journal too, but I talk more about that here. All three of the above options are alternatives to crying it out, which I am sure you could integrate with any of these ideas. Bottling in one's emotions is painful, and can lead to an explosion of unnecessary anger. Just make sure the person you are venting to has nothing to do with the situation or drama you are talking about, because gossip spreads like wildfire, and it will ALWAYS come back to bite you in the bum! Be careful!
Take The High Road:
If someone is begin mean or hurtful, the worst thing you can do is stoop to their level. Should the situation become serious and go to an authority, you will look like the bigger person for not begin mean or hurtful in any way. Let them let it out, because sometimes people get angry at you because they don't have an outlet for stress or anger. If they don't, send them to this blog post! Just know not to take someone's anger personally unless they are being directly mean to you. Understand the fine line between the cold shoulder and being cruel.
Walk Away:
If someone is being mean, being just as mean is easy to do when you don't have time to think about what you are going to say. So if the right words are not coming to your head, and you think anything you will say will backfire, walking away is the best option and will make you the better person. Don't let people pull you into arguments; you always have the right to end a conversation and walk away from a fight, especially if the argument is in front of a lot of people. If you walk away, go into a bathroom and cry it out, or go to a counselor, the principal, or a friend and spill! It sounds silly, but retelling every detail can be helpful to you and the administration too.
Mantras:
I have a mantra that I say to myself everyday, so try finding one for yourself that applies to the situation you are in or something you are trying to improve in your life. Mine is "Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff." I talked about this quote here. It reminds me not to overreact, and to be calm and remember that half of the petty high school drama and the silly assignments won't matter in a decade or two!
I hope this was helpful to those who are stuck in a tricky situation, or who are having a rubbish day/week/month/year. It does get better, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Waiting it out only builds character and makes you stronger, and will benefit you in the long run, I promise!
What mantras do you tell yourself?
xx BB